No One Owes You a Damn Thing (So Do Whatever You Want!)
It’s a truth universally acknowledged that no one owes you a damn thing. Aside from the people who owe you money or haven’t fulfilled their part of a deal yet, you are completely un-owed.
This may be a rude awakening to some. But overall, I think we can all agree it’s good news.
Does Someone Owe You a Damn Thing?
Nope. That’s the short answer.
But the long answer is no, and now you’re free to do whatever the hell you want because you don’t have to wait to cash in on something.
There’s nothing coming in the mail. No one is going to show up and tell you that they have something for you. You don’t have to hold out for something to come through.
You’re free to knock on the damn door and do whatever it is you’re meant to do in this crazy life. (That is, whatever you believe you’re meant to do. Not what someone else has told you to do. Just as no one owes you a damn thing, you don’t owe anyone anything either.)
No one owes you anything, meaning you’re free to move on as if they don’t even matter.
And guess what? No one gives a damn, meaning you’re free to operate as someone who doesn’t need approval from anyone.
At the end of the day, if it ain’t yours, don’t carry it. And that means you don’t have to carry the weight of any expectations.
YOU ARE GLORIOUSLY UNBURDENED.
Welcome to the Freedom of Knowing No One Owes You a Damn Thing
Look. Here’s the thing.
All contracts, agreements, covenants, and accords come with strings attached. And if you want to avoid those strings, you must avoid those agreements. The good news is that since no one owes you a damn thing, you have successfully achieved a no strings attached lifestyle.
This means you basically get to live your life. Here’s what that looks like.
001: Do whatever you want.
I mean, within reason. You actually do owe people a damn thing, which is the freedom to live their own lives, and in return, they will give you the same.
(If anyone acts different, you can direct them here. Remind them that you’re not responsible for other people’s happiness, and you thank them for their concern.)
So, do whatever it is you want to do with your wild and precious life. Maybe that’s a big plan that’s going to take lots of work and dedication. Maybe it’s something small and quiet that you don’t have to share with anyone else.
Whatever it is, you get to do it. And you get to do it because you are gloriously unburdened.
002: Change course when necessary.
Now, there are occasions wherein you may find yourself stuck. Perhaps you’ve tried to do whatever it is you wanted to do only to find that it doesn’t work. Or maybe you just need to approach it from a new angle.
Or maybe you realized you want to do something else entirely.
Just do it. Seriously. Change course. Change your mind. Change your whole-ass identity if you want. Literally no one can stop you but yourself.
That isn’t to say that some may not try to stop you. So many people out there who don’t realize how gloriously unburdened they are try to tell folks how burdened we all are, and get super angry when you try to change course in your grand plan for life.
They’ll tell you to stay the course, or that you owe it to yourself to never change.
But so many of those people will give advice about arts and industries and activities they know nothing about. So you’re free to ignore them.
Do what you know you need to do.
003: Do things that people might frown upon.
So many people will frown on a change of course even though they don’t know anything about what the hell it is your doing. And guess what?
They’ll frown on so much more.
The frowns of others are not your concern. You didn’t get into what you’re into to make randos smile, did you? Probably not. Unless you’re a clown, which like, cool? I guess? I don’t know. Please don’t come near me in makeup though because your girl ain’t a fan.
But because no one owes you a damn thing, and you don’t owe anyone a damn thing, you get to do whatever you want. And sometimes, that’s going to make some folks unhappy.
But guess what? You don’t owe them happiness. Nor do you need their approval for anything.
004: Avoid seeking validation.
Do you need approval from anyone? Nope. Do you need their praise? Also nope.
Should you seek the validation and approval of others? No damn way, meaning you continue living your life and ignore the folks who think you want their validation.
This may be harder than you think. We live in a world of social media likes, and so many people are looking for the dopamine rush of someone saying what you did was cool. Many people think you are living for their likes.
I fall victim to it myself.
But at the end of the day, you don’t need validation. You don’t need to seek it from others. And you probably won’t get it when you want it most. Because remember, no one owes you a damn thing, and that includes validation.
So don’t even go looking for it, because you ain’t gonna get it and the only validation that matters is from yourself.
005: Live your own damn life, bro.
Now. If you’ve read this far, you may feel like I live my life as if I don’t care about anything.
Who said I don’t give a damn? Not I, said the writer of this post.
I do. I give many damns. So many damns. Quite a lot of them.
But I give them where they are warranted. I give a damn about my loved ones and the work I do. So even though I am gloriously unburdened, I don’t live my life to spite others.
I live my own damn life, and I set the rules. And that means that I don’t seek validation, but I also don’t do things just to piss people off. Remember that whole thing about giving folks the freedom to live their lives so they give you the same?
Yeah. That’s what I’m all about.
So take a moment and figure out what it means to live your own damn life. Are you in a position to do that? And if not, how can you get there?
Living your own damn life takes some planning and care. And if you’ve been living someone else’s idea of your life for a while, it may take a bit to get there.
But you can do it. Hell, I did it.
Are You Ready to Not Owe Anyone a Damn Thing?
Did any of this resonate with you? Are you stressed about the journey of learning to live your own damn life as a gloriously unburdened entity? Remember, even if it’s super uncomfortable, you’re supposed to be here. Take a deep breath, make a plan, and do what you need to do.
Originally published at https://marisamohi.com on April 25, 2022.
